This is a cover of a legendary work in the Society for Creative Anachronism, written in the 1990s by Wyndrith Berginsdottir, modernly known as Karen LU Kahan.
I recorded it because a young girl told her dad that I am a singer who knows “all the event songs” and therefore I must have a recording of this one, which is a favorite. I indeed did not, but how could I not oblige?
If you love this song as much as I do, please consider buying a copy in support of the original artist at her Bandcamp site!
The first time I heard “The Scotsman Song” written in 1979 by Mike Cross, I found it funny. I was young and the idea was kind of hilarious, a turnabout that was unexpected and silly. I mean, who on earth would do that, right?
However, I’ve gotten older and I’ve gotten to know many men who wear kilts and who have had many questions about how they’re attired, at best, and have been groped for that discovery, at worst. Add to that that the gent in question is drunk and thereby nonconsensual…well, this song has become Very Problematic for me and I can’t stomach the original because it feels so inappropriate that I can’t find it funny any more.
Because it’s still a staple in the Ren Faire world and often performed in the SCA, I decided to write my OWN version, update to embrace the behavior I expect from others.
Please, feel free to adopt it into your own songbooks.
“What’s Worn Beneath The Kilt: The Scotsman Updated” – by Aneleda Falconbridge (mka Monique Bouchard) based on “The Scotsman Song” by Mike Cross, 1979
A Scotsman clad in kilt left the bar one evening fair And one could tell by how he walked he’d drunk more than his share He stumbled on until he could no longer keep his feet Then staggered off into the grass to sleep beside the street.
Ring ding diddle diddle i de o Ring di diddle i o deet He staggered off into the grass to sleep beside the street.
Later on two young and lovely girls just happened by, And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye You see yon sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built I wonder if it’s true what they don’t wear beneath their kilt.
Ring ding diddle diddle i de o Ring di diddle i o dilt I wonder if it’s true what they don’t wear beneath their kilt.
They crept up to the sleeping Scot as quiet as could be And at a decent distance they waited patiently That they might discover if beneath that Scottish skirt Were boxers, stretchy Y fronts, or the clothes he’d worn at birth
Ring ding diddle diddle i de o Ring di diddle i o dirth Were boxers, stretchy Y fronts, or the clothes he’d worn at birth
They waited for a hour then one said we’d best be gone The other wanted answers but they’d both begun to yawn They took out blue silk ribbon, tied their hair up in a bow So it wouldn’t be too tangled as they they slept in the meadow.
Ring ding diddle diddle i de o Ring di diddle i o doh So it wouldn’t be too tangled as they they slept in the meadow.
The Scotsman woke to nature’s call and stumbled toward the trees Behind a bush he spied them, just waking in dawn’s breeze With a cheery greeting the ladies caught his eyes “Beg pardon, would you tell us of this garment o’er your thighs?”
Ring ding diddle diddle i de o Ring di diddle io die “Beg pardon, would you tell us of this garment o’er your thighs?”
“We’ve heard many a rumor ‘bout what’s worn beneath the plaid, Would you please enlighten as how you might be clad?” We’ve waited through the evening to ask you with respect Which of the many rumors is the one that is correct.
Ring ding diddle diddle i de o Ring di diddle i o dekt Which of the many rumors is the one that is correct. Thank you so for asking, the bonnie lad did say, Rather than assuming things about my modesty Surely I will tell you since you’ve waited since last night….
(spoken) AHEM. Well, there’s no Scottish Highlander’s Rulebook or anything and this subject is divided even among the most cultured Scots. As a matter of fact, according to a survey* of kilt wearing Scots, a full 55% wear shorts or briefs beneath their kilts. The rest do not. However, it’s worth noting that The Scottish Tartans Authority has decreed that refusing to wear underwear beneath the country’s national dress is “childish and unhygienic” but…. Depending on the kilt wearer, both answers may be right!
Ring ding diddle diddle i de o Ring di diddle i o dite But depending on the kilt wearer, both answers may be right!
The ladies rose and thanked him for the sharing of these facts In turn he also thanked them for polite and civil acts
Please accept our ribbons for our views have been revised,
And we know more than we did before– knowledge ought be prized!
Ring ding diddle diddle i de o Ring di diddle i o diez O we know more than we did before– knowledge ought be prized!
Salve Draconis, based on the Gregorian Salve Regina, for the Midrealm coronation 2015.
My friend, the Honorable Lord Andrew Blackwood, was about to complete his term as the Royal Bard of the Midrealm. He had a plan for music for the coronation, a processional for his Regents. He’d asked me if I could help get the music for a particular Gregorian chant, the very traditional Salve Regina.
I sent him some sheet music and didn’t think about it much. This is what the piece is like:
However, soon enough it was deeply fall and the event was coming. Andrew was about to work on the piece, when he experienced a death in his family and had to travel for several days. Hearing his desperation, I offered to take a stab at adapting the piece.
The Salve Regina has been chanted daily by the Cistercians since 1218 – it’s a very old piece of music. It’s a hymn to Mary, and it’s very….Marian. Exceptionally holy. And therefore, and interesting challenge to secularize.
Salve, Regina, mater misericordiae:
(Hail, Queen, mother merciful:) Vita, dulcedo, et spes nostra, salve.
(Life, sweetness, and hope of ours, hail.) Ad te clamamus,
(To thee we cry) exsules, filii Hevae.
(Exiles, children of Eve.) Ad te suspiramus, gementes et flentes
(To thee we sigh, morning and weeping) in hac lacrimarum valle.
(in this tearful valley.) Eia ergo, Advocata nostra,
(Quick then, Advocate of ours,) illos tuos misericordes oculos
(those thy merciful eyes) ad nos converte.
(to us turn.) Et Iesum, benedictum fructum ventris tui,
(And Jesus, blessed fruit of womb thine,) nobis, post hoc exsilium ostende.
(unto us, after this exile show) O clemens: O pia: O dulcis
(O clement: O loving: O sweet) Virgo Maria.
(Virgin Mary.)
Adapting the piece would be a challenge – it had to
be about the Midrealm
be appropriate to our SCA experiences
keep the same feeling as the original (and respect)
have appropriate scansion and end vowels whenever possible
make some kind of sense to someone who isn’t me
I took to the text of the piece carefully. I’m not a Latin scholar. This was very outside my comfort zone and it had a pretty quick turnaround time – just a few days before it had to go to the people who would create an arrangement of it and learn it for the Midrealm Coronation.
The Process
I took the piece and looked for a concept to adapt. Fortunately, some of the Peerage oaths of the Midrealm are traditional and have supplied translations.
Hic fidelitatem et ministerium promitto / I here swear fealty and service Coronae Mediterranae / To the Crown of the Middle Kingdom. Semper Coronam ditare / To ever enrich the Crown. Talento et ingenio meo / With my talents and abilities. Artibus diversis favere / To promote the diverse arts, Institutionem discipulorum meorum continuare / To continue the instruction of my dependents, Gloriam Mediterranae augere / To increase the glory of the Middle Kingdom, Et digna serto quod gero esse / And to be worthy of the Wreath I wear… Sic promitto, <<Name>>. / thus swear I, <<Name>>.
Hic fianciam juro et humagium ago / I here swear fealty and do homage Coronae Regni Medii / To the Crown of the Middle Kingdom Coronae servire in omnibus rebus / To serve the Crown in all things Meminisse comitatis et benignitatis / To remember courtesy and kindness Aestimare justiciam ante lucrum privatum / To prize justice above personal gain Laborare in bonum commune / To labor for the common good Locupletare Regnum et Societatem / To enrich the Kingdom and the Society Ut floreant et crescant / So they may flourish and grow Et dignus esse titulo Pelicani / And to be worthy of the title of Pelican. Hic per honorem et manum / Here by my honor, my hand Et cor meum juro ego, <<Name>>. / and my heart swear I, <<Name>>.
I used this for inspiration.
I also looked through a lot of common Latin phrases, mottoes, and other chant texts. I used a Latin verb list as well, to try to have some hope to get the right tense and use. I knew I wanted to use the Midrealm motto (of sorts) of “Draco Invictus” in the piece because of its strong connections to the people. I also wanted to be sure this was a balance between Regent and People (I am Eastern after all!) but to have it come from the voice of both. I did not name specific regents in order to make it useful on the longer term.
Salve Draconis, Coronae Mediterranae
Hail Dragon, Crown of the Middle Kingdom Vita, dulcedo, honoro—- Salve!
[Hail] our life, our sweetness and our honor! Ad te clamamus,
the thee we cry Coronam qui meruit feres
Let he who won the crown bear it Ad te suspiramus, labore et honore
to thee do we send up, our labor and honor in hac pia publicae
in the dutiful desires of the republic Eja ergo, justitia nostra,
quick then Our justice Illos tuos aeternam oculos
those eternal eyes ad nos converte.
(to us turn.) in fidem, benedictum, vox populi tuis
in faith, blessed voice of your populace nobis, post hoc exsilium ostende.
unto us after this honor show O justice: O pia: O Medii
O justice: O loving: O Midrealm Draco Invictus.
The piece was performed as the reigning King and Queen, Ragnvalder Jonsson and Arabella Silvermane, processed into the hall toward the thrones. You can see the final format here, with transcription and arrangement by Cailin mac Aindréis and Siri Toivosdotter: Salve Draconis – New Words Only.
Because when you hear that your king was singing the original from the back of a truck after fighting the Pennsic woods battle, you just have to answer that call in period.
When icumen in,
I cannot starte to ken
But then I ken strong it groweth
Merie the spring,
after springe cometh sumer
who wolde ken thou shoulde come to me?
Hand toucheth hand
reacheth out,
toucheth I, toucheth thou
Sweeting Carolyne (fa la la!)
Gode times neuer seem’d so gode. (so gode, so gode, so gode!)
I hath been inclined (fa la la!)
to believe they neuer wolde
Look, there is the night.
It seemeth not so lonely,
With twa we fill
we hath filled it with but two.
And when I hurte,
Hurt runneth from mine shoulder,
whilst I hold my lemman, I am not sore
Warmth, toucheth warmth,
reacheth out,
toucheth I, toucheth thou
Sweeting Carolyne (fa la la!)
Gode times neuer seem’d so gode. (so gode, so gode, so gode!)
I hath been inclined (fa la la!)
to believe they neuer wolde
Sweeting Carolyne (fa la la!)
Gode times neuer seem’d so gode. (so gode, so gode, so gode!)
