The Mercinary Northguard

I think this might have been my very first commission – from Lady Bryn, at the Bare Blade Tavern Brawl. I believe I was paid in chocolate (and laughter.) This all works best with a merry “ompah” kind of choral underpinning. Gwillem provided the oompah running bassline and Constancia provided harmony.

They’re big and they’re mean!
With rapiers keen
If you’ve seen what I’ve seen
You’d run away screaming
A lot.

Mercs all working for pay
Good scotch* or pennies a day
(Cheaper if the hit is on Vey)
The mercenary Northguard.


Decades they’ve been around
Slaying and taking new ground
Slaughter, betrayal abound
In the mercenary Northguard.


Swarming like bees from the hive
They leave no witness alive
Unless they’ve somehow connived
The mercenary Northguard.


*Alt lyric: chocolate or pennies a day